The Angry Marines didn't have to worry about the Shadow in the Warp as that only deterred pussies. !”, “BUT THIS IS BOLLOCKS, BROTHER-CAPTAIN!” said Dammiel. That very day, the Fires sweeping through the Manufactorums grew by an order of magnitude. Lying next to it was a small piece of paper. Governor Mellitus remained loyal to the Throne. You have no chance! After almost losing the large Astartes in the corridors of the battle barge, he finally caught up with him, standing in front of a Vox-console trying to plug into the ships loudspeakers. Things would have gone rapidly downhill from there for Ching (probably starting with her face melting off), as without power armour, a super human constitution and some heavy weapons, an Angry Serf’s (no matter how angry) no match for a champion of chaos. Psychic Awakening: Greater Good. For fucks sake, even the fucking commissars dead now as well, we’d have about fifty angry bastards left if it wasn’t for you brown nosing bastards!”, In most other chapters, this would have earned Ching a bolt round to the head, or perhaps Slow lobotomization into a servitor, but as she stared down one of the galaxies angriest beings and called him a cunt, the Chapter Master could only smile a grin so wide it showed all of his dirty brown teeth. ", roared Captain Shit-Ripper. updating this page with other projects. As the Mechanicum wasn't obliged to supply reports about deliveries to individual units, the Administratum had no idea of the current state of the chapters inventory, upkeep or even numbers of Astartes. Its course took it close to the planet, so close in fact that it nearly fucking landed at one point, and spat drop-pods at the surface. Warhammer 40K: Five Introductory Book Series For New Fans. Wounds throughout the mother's uterus and all along the birth canal indicated extreme trauma; video recording of the birth confirmed the medical examiner's suspicions: he had come out cuntpunching (sic). Matt Ward to retire and never return. ALL THE TIME!!!". He opened up with the missile launcher. “SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKERS!! “Why did it have to be this? !’ He just could not believe that anyone would be stupid enough to broadcast to everyone on the planet that they were sneaking. Such cases resulted in troopers forgetting to defend themselves or pay attention to the enemies left in front of them for fear of missing a second of the action. The head was, unfortunately, was still alive. What was that psychopath shouting at him? A few hours later and the battle barge maximum fucks main hangar had been cleared of ships to make a large space in which the chapter master, Reclusiarch Mofo (even he could not refuse being present for such an event), Moarfistin and Fuklaw now stood in a semi-circle. Us softies, well, we’re no match for all that power armor and lets be candid, the standard IG issue lasgun is about as effective against power armor as harsh language. Here are, however, some and addr... As I mentioned in a recent post, I've begun painting a small collection of So when some keen-eyed warrior spotted a red and yellow vessel of the "Sky Angels", hope grew. The marine looked up from his cleaning, “WE’RE GETTING SHOT AT, ASSHOLE!!! Martial Brotherhood. There was an uncomfortable pause on the vox. They also possess a Titan Legion, which is fully comprised of Angry Titans. Having had enough of this emo cockslaping contest, the Master of the Armory picked up his wrench and started beating this new Redemptor Belligerent Engine - the first of its kind - into sullen unconsciousness. He broke the Princep's head open with a tap of his power-wrench as if it were some kind of egg and ate his brains. PANSY ASSES HIDING IN THE GROUND?!! 23:45 - Free Time - Space Marines are permitted this time to reflect upon their duty to The Emperor, however many Chapter Masters regard free time as a frivolous waste, and a dangerous distraction in the extreme. If you read my previous post you know that I've been trying out the This was a golden opportunity for the mechanicium, an opportunity which Mightilypissedoff the third was perfectly placed to exploit, being both an Angry Marine and a child of the omnisiah, and so he was brought before the council of mars who explained their plans to him, to which pissed off replied “WHERE DO I FUCKING SIGN?!!!”. GOTO! rather, ask, "Why not?" Just as planned. Then the faggot went on and on about how great he is and how he has such a FUCKING HARDON FOR HIMSELF!!!! !”, “DICK-EATING FURFAGGOTS!!!! “THEY'VE GOT 35 MILLION PDF WANKERS FACING OFF AGAINST A HIVE FLEET AND THEY'RE SENDING BLOODY COMPLAINTS TO THE EMPEROR AND EXPECTING US TO FUCKING DIE FOR THEM? The only power I see is THE POWER TO FAIL!!! Pieces of half a dozen different armour marks adorned the squad, and while the detritus of previous warzones had been hosed off as part of ship's quarantine, battle damage was still evident on all. Then I felt the shock up my arms and nearly dropped it. The fools, turning their backs on the God-Emperor for whatever sick rewards they received from the deceiving Warp fiends. This one might in the works in Battle Sister, an Oculus game controlling the furious Bolter Bitches. - take from warhammer community] King and his Dankhold Colossus mount. He had chosen to hold the meeting in his private quarters aboard the battle barge Maximum Fuck, and around the large, circular table covered with pizzas and skittles he had had constructed for this very purpose sat the galaxies angriest beings. Thought for the day: Beware the Weeaboo, the waifu, the loli. into battle, to great effect, as it carried Pretty, Wargh and Angry energies within it, making everyone around it "DA ANGRIEST, DA ORKIEST AND DA PRETTIEST SONS O FUCKIN BITCHES IN DA FUCKIN GALAXY!!!! The techmarine began to unclasp the front of his power-trousers. Wow what a year 2020 was. "Unlikely, little Chaplain. For a moment, no one spoke, the Angry Marines normal desire to swear and curse abated by the presence of such a large, and ancient psychic void. As the distance between the two forces began to close, there arose from these yellow warriors the loudest scream I had ever heard. Space Marine Librarian In Terminator Armour (New) £18.50 This product is available and will be dispatched the same working day if your order is placed before 3pm. IT'S A FUCKING BELLIGERENT ENGINE, YOU FUCK!! As the books screams became quieter and the wind abated somewhat, Crotch Rot straightened himself up and surveyed the destruction around him as his tally man picked himself up, having lost his book and an arm in the carnage. Things had only become worse from then. monsters fighting monsters. Furiel didn’t know who this earl gray was but he must have been a bad ass to have a bolter named after him. There are roughly a thousand Chapters, each led by a Space Marine with the rank of Chapter Master.A Chapter's fighting force numbers a nominal 1000 … When the Valkyries were directly over our position, the marines ... jumped. "Yiff... yiff... yiff... yiff..." The head sits impaled on a wooden stick and has a large cock and balls drawn on its forehead in permanent marker, from the remains of the heads neck droops a thick clump of fur, described by ancient texted as the "Crown of the neckbeards", which is said to have been awarded to the fifth/sixth chaos god for fucking over an ancient table top game. THINK YOU CAN FIGURE OUT WHICH END OF THIS TO USE?? CHAPTER MASTER- BITCH TITS, the apothocary said Dammiel's assault cannon was as loose and wild as a hosepipe dropped by incompetent fire-servitors. I was given the same reply from everyone I asked: “BECAUSE IT WAS REALLY FUCKING AWESOME, ASSHOLE!” Apparently in the time after the sergeant had committed this deed, others followed his example, taking not only the weapons of the Orks, but also other body parts. The firing rites, as dictated by the Codex Astartes, involve squads honing their skills with ranged weaponry. Mofo responded diplomatically, "WITH RESPECT CAPTAIN, FUCK YOU AND THE OBSCURA THAT BURST FROM THE CONDOMS YOU SWALLOWED!! You would think that you fucks could get it right one time in TEN THOUSAND YEARS!!! Twatsplasher, Terridyne and the chaps landed directly on top of a vanguard swarm that was trying to eat a city. THE ONLY RUIN I SEE IS YOU SHITTING YOUR PANTS!!! “My Lord,” Counter of Infectious Blessings interjected into Crotch Rot’s thoughts “what are we to do with the… Head of Ward, once we have hugged all of the Angry Marines into submission? asked an incredulous Medina. The Enemy swung those quads over the line of men and watched them fall. But Shitforbrains and the other initiates gave all this only passing thought and contemplation, they were too busy being furious at the games before them, to the point that the rage filling the room had become a palpable smell, like a mix of burnt pizza and junk mail. Not to be denied his prize, the sergeant proceeded to cut the hands off the Ork at the wrists. before, for this scale I have decided to flush out the "Cyclopeans"... Been working on the Killteam boxset scenery. !” shouted Mofo, who just wanted to go back to watching cartoons. The Hive Fleet drew nearer. Then run away. years ago now warhammer39999 wanted to join a movement to rediscover lost It has been the longest 2020. Instantly his crozius was alight in his hand, its power field sending blue energy flicking out from its surface. And just like that, Mightilypissedoff was the Master of the Armoury. guess! Until the Angry Marines rescued her and recruited her as an Angry Serf, where she had let a very angry but happy life, until a bunch of Tzeentch and Nurgle worshippers had decided to be a bunch of cunts and attack her ship. He still wasn’t happy about it (he was furious about it, which also pleased him) but as long as he was able to purge all traces of Nurgle he found then he would do his job and only complain slightly more than usual. “You possess the ability... to learn quickly... from others?”, “YOU BET YOUR BLANK-FIRING BOLLOCKS WE DO,” said Twatsplasher, “BUT I DON'T THINK YOU'LL LIKE HOW IT FUCKING WORKS!”, “I care not... just do it... save those people... end the xenos.”. “AH THERE IT FUCKING IS, THIS IS GOING TO BE MEGA-FUCKING-KICKASS-AWESOMESAUCE” the Captain gleefully exclaimed as he had found an ancient power-weapon of some description. Welcome to Ruleshammer! Space Marines: Space Marines Datacards: Ultramarines (DE) - Mailorder: Space Marine Sprungmodule - Space Marine Predator (48-23) - Warhammer 40.000: Indomit, Artikel 49 - 96 The Silencer rolled his eyes behind his helmet, as he reached deep into his mind for his rage, a rage built up over millennia of fighting demons and babysitting the red and yellow fucks, and threw it at the chapter master in the only form of communication the Angry Marines seemed to understand. and I were joined by a new player, C, and an army we haven't played before He wished to send a message through to the wider Imperium outlining his world's situation and pleading for help. Emperor's Children Legion Post-Heresy Badge. Unlike most of the Imperium's bigger vessels, this battle barge didn't have any markings to indicate as to which direction one would proceed to a certain location. Surely enough, we ran into a group of Chaos Marines within a day of landing. Last weeks the Outcast Dead has reignited a spark inside me for the Horus Holy Terra,Throneworld of theImperium of Mankind, Doing the Happy Dance (Or: Revisiting My Hopes for 8th), Cadia's Creed: Warhammer 40k and the Imperial Guard. This then progressed into fornication with plasma engines, then fornication with various edged weapons, and then fornication with their mothers and other ancestors. There is a 9th edition Angry Marines codex you can use. -There are no more ships for us to use, Lord. IT'S A CLUSTERFUCK OF GRIMDARK PROPORTIONS, TOO MANY LAZY WANKERS ABOUT THESE DAYS!! Tracer fire lit up the air and more bullets were aimed at them SHOULDN’T YOU BE OUT LOOKING FOR CHAOS OR SOME SHIT? As one, then two Battle Barges slammed into the enemy lines. Twatsplasher growled with the frustration of trying to make thousands of tons of metal and pistons run like a man. “YOU UP FOR THIS, FUCKFACE? The ships overwhelmed the orbital defenses in rapid fashion, and dropships swarmed over the hive cities and manufactorums in a fast and brutal raid. The resulting explosion blew Yarrick free of the wreckage and left him only with minor burns, but managed to destroy his family home (along with his family) and (more importantly) his workshop filled with his tools of the omnisiah. To which one marine remarked; ”OH JUST LET US AT THEM ALREADY YOU BITCHING ASSJOCKEY!!”. But the mechanicium could not just simply get rid of pissedoff, it was not his fault he was corrupted and he was still equally talented if not more so than mar’s greatest priests. Only monsters fighting “I'M THE ONLY ONE CAN COMMAND THE BASTARD THING!”, “WHICH TWAT MADE YOU THE NEW PRIMARCH? "SUCK ON THIS, YOU PANSIFIED FAGGOTS!!" The game was impossible, the cunts had modified it to be even more impossible than it already was. The battle was over but the war was only just kicking off. I turned quickly to brush a speck of dust off that had landed on my armor, and breathed a sigh of relief that no one had seen that. The fifth marine was hidden behind a mass of cardboard he carried with him. I already have seven Plague Toads, but I picked up three more recently. absence from the blog since myself and Zebulon started it. At the same time (and unknown to their brethren on the first Battle Barge, or vice versa), a second Battle Barge of the Chapter, the Maximum FUCK, hovered at the ready directly over the capital city. To not ruin terminator armour while doing so, between a five man terminator squad, and the tech priest Jordy Motherfucker, who was originally from the water covered agri world of Spectoris. The remaining xenos turned tail and ran. A previously small and ignored cult calling itself the Millennial Falcons had been on some kind of recruitment drive and had taken over more than half the planet. I'm surprised that even works" he snarled through gritted teeth and eyes watering from the second blow, pointing furiously at the sergeant's dishevelled weapon. Like all humans, Angry Marines have a birth name given by their parents. Died while doing the chainsword swallowing trick (upon death he had three down his throat). Its said that with his slaaneshi enhanced eyesight he could see the fury on brother furiels face from space and the middle fingers he was giving while burning up on re-entry! I was encouraged. There are some things the Angry Marines desire to happen, and if they did, it would make them slightly less angry, but nowhere nearly enough to make them less destructive. Even orbital bombardments did not cause the flames to abate. Mofo then turned back to his toilet and angrily finished cleaning himself with the torn codex page. Were the occupants crouched and ready to ... jump? I made one modification to it that I think really improves it. !’), was working perfectly. This I could not stand, I demanded to see the sergeant responsible for the mess. The decision has been made and the choice of miniatures selected. YOU BASTARD!!! motorcycle monster himself, Yojimbo! YOU! tiny titan for my Legio Fureans forces. that was advancing onto said mountain. The Chaplain agreed saying, “WE KNOW NOT TO TAKE ANYTHING FROM THOSE CHAOS FUCKS, ASSHOLE!” He then pulled my undergarments over my head and kicked me onto my transport. Essentially the equivalent of dropping a fucking nuke on this city. But firstly, Ching and Moarfistin had to find a way off the Maximum Fuck without getting shot/stabbed/turned into that which will not be named/hugged, and although Moarfistin was more than capable of annihilating anything before him his sheer rage and psychic outbursts made him visible to any psyker within a mile, and thus the two adventures had become prime targets for anyone lacking a target to shoot at. TELL THEM TO PREPARE THE MAIN HANGAR, WE SHALL SPEAK TO THE FUCKING HEAD OF WARD!!!”. Of the many Space Marine Chapters that protect the good citizens of the Imperium, none are as well respected, nor admired, as the warriors of the Ultramarines. “I cannot... make it. THERE YOU ARE YOU LITTLE FUCK BUCKET! Only the wise counsel of the Inquisition prevented him from declaring immediate war against his unruly brethren, a war that would no doubt have cost the Imperium greatly before the Ultramarines' Angry Marines' inevitable victory. But I embraced it. Being the smart and proactive psychic nut case that he is, Moarfistin has decided to do both, and currently has his crusade raiding and pillaging all nearby daemon worlds, cultist hideouts and chaos space marine vessels to build a brand new battle barge named the “Suicidal Insanity”, and has split his crusade down the middle (rather literally as there were an odd number of marines, said marine now has two bionic legs and an arm and his removed limbs were grafted onto a servitor), with the Suicidal Insanity staying behind to perform a crusade up and down the Maledictum, while Considerable Shouting continues onto the Tau worlds. Cultist-chan versus the Angry Marine - Part1, Cultist-chan versus the Angry Marine - Part2, Cultist-chan versus the Angry Marine - Part3. We were taking cover from plasma bolts that were being shot from further within the hillside. The Titan's gyro-stabilisers were already struggling under the Captain's amateurish efforts, but now they could feel the ground shaking as the Dominatrix stomped towards them. Fuming at the loss of certain victory, he began to plan anew, including the new arrivals in his strategy of misdirection, backstabbing and infiltration (although that last one might prove difficult to achieve with Xenos, unless he painted some of his men green and implanted big fangs in their mouths…). As he attempted to regroup with his squad, Dickface got his ass stuck in the fens of Drywalker. APPARENTLY, THEY'RE SO WEAK THE MACHINE SPIRIT WAS HAVING FUN KILLING EVERY FAGGOT THEY INTERED IN IT!!" An entire hive city was burning and slaanesh marines were emerging from warp portals playing bad dubstep so loud it could be heard from space…the last thing furiel needed in the morning was some fucking power armored gimp playing shitty rock covers at 9 in the morning like an asshole! It’s really time for me to be going. OH YES WE FUCKING EAT EGG AND SAUSAGE BREAKFAST SANDWICHES BY THE FUCKING TRUCKLOAD! Last words: “LOOK, I’VE GROWN ANOTHER FUCKING ARM TO BEAT SHIT WITH!!!”. Wankel's boot was pretty far up his arse and had been for the last half an hour. Over time however, the banner began to lose its strength, being replaced more and more by wargh energies, and although it still provided a healthy glow to the orks (5/10 while drunk), it was no longer enough to hypnotise the enemy, resulting in the commandos being curpstomped by a squad of storm troopers, and the banner was then taken by the inquisition. it’s also THAT time of the year again — how did this happen…? There was the pause as Maximus considered, only to get angry with himself for needing to pause, he raised the book high above his head, and brought it crashing down on the questioning marines armoured brow, sending him crashing through five floors to land in a wrathful heap. The marine, nicknamed 'Shitkicker', found himself flying in a perfect arch into the fray and landing amidst a large group of cultists adorned in pink, chains, leather and fursuits. Adjusting his aim slightly brother furian homed in on the govenors palace, now, everything was aimed at him and the screaming was getting louder Oops, it appears something has gone amiss. "INTERED? HOLD THIS BITCH STEADY!”. Because Battle-Brother Alfion had been part of the first batch of Primaris Marines sent - reluctantly - by Lord Commander Roboute Guilliman to the Angry Marines. build than the Mustang I posted last week. Now macro lasers were firing and the traitor warlord titan Lucius rentboy was firing its macro cannons at these yellow and red little insects but to no avail, the last thing their deranged precepts saw was a red and yellow marine bursting through his void shields his mailed fists caving in his skull and his brothers flying right through as brother furiel punched through the back of the titan and aimed straight for the traitorous governor. The whispers can be heard in a hundred-mile radius (even in the vacuum of space) and resulted in many sleepless nights (WHO FUCKING NEEDS SLEEP!!!) DID YOU THIN YOUR PAINTS? Updated Leaked Images: Dead and the Divine Reveal, GW Big Preview: The Dead and the Divine + Sneak Peak, Classic Miniatures for Middle Earth Return. During his career, he developed a special hatred of Eldar, and would often be heard to claim that "THEY MAY AS WELL BE GODDAMN PRETTY MARINES FOR ALL THEIR FAIRYASSED PANTSHITTERY!!" discount proved frustrating, I cancelled my order and today walked into my THAT'S THE BEST FUCKING JOKE SINCE THAT TIME WE PLAYED PUNCH THE CUNT WITH THE SHIT-EATING BLUEBERRIES WEEABOOS!!". “SEEMS THESE 'MILLENNIAL FALCONS' ARE FAGGOTS, CONTAMINATING OTHERS WITH SAID FAGGOTRY, WHILE EATING LENTILS AND TOUCHING EACH OTHERS' FUCKING BUMS! From their cannons. The pissed off Angry Marines on board the Cruiser ”IFUCKDURMOM” were rushing to the nearest drop pods, wanting to be the first one knocking the shit out of the Chaosfags attacking the imperial world 'Pandaemonium Prime'. +++++. I reasoned they were experiencing mechanical difficulties with their instruments. NOT A FUCKING ANGRY MARINE!!! There he hacked brutally at the soft flesh until the swallow reflex clenched bloody blankets of meat around him, forcing him down into the boiling acid in its gut. been idle. !” And this is actually correct, their greatest impact on the chapter was to set stuff on fire, more specifically, setting stuff on fire using flamethrowers utilising promethium with ground up copies of the Codex Astartes mixed in, this didn’t make the flamethrowers any more burny, but it did make them far more awesome. Suddenly, Captain Asshole's turgid member had punched right through the armor plating of the Dreadnought, with the Angry Marine himself in tow, and lodged itself between the buttocks of the Farseer with the force of 10 supernovae. !” I heard through the vox. Serious firepower! Void shields flared as if the crew were having trouble keeping them up. For his heroics and skill, Dickface was elevated to the position of Assault Sergeant and was granted one of the Chapter's "Angry Beakie" Mark VI Corvus suits of Power Armor. And it simply kept getting louder as their Captain's fist slowly rose into the air. 23:15 - Maintenance Rituals - FIX YOUR SHIT OR I'LL GRAB A TECH-PRIEST AND MAKE HIM FIX YOUR SHIT. Bad grammar, because IF YOU’RE GOING TO FUCKING SCREAM YOU CAN FUCKING DO IT RIGHT (WHERE IS YOUR PUNCTUATION, YOU ANAL BITING, DONKEY RAPING FUCK-TARD? a 15% off to The Genesys Project community. The Chaplain shouted to his brother Marines, "YOU DON'T LISTEN TO FAGGOTS, YOU COCKSICLES, YOU FUCKING KILL THEM!!! many tutorials out there and to be honest I was a little intimidated. His chance to seek revenge against the Angry Marines, when the Master of the Armoury Enfurious Ragman announced that “WE’LL BE HAVING A FUCKING “CULTURAL EXCHANGE” WITH THE FUCKING TOASTER SHAGGERS, AND I NEED ONE OF YOU PRICKS TO GO TO FUCKING MARS!! GET OFF THE WALLS, COCKSICKLES, THE FUCKING 3RD COMPANY'S COMING THROUGH!!!”. It was the most astonishing sight I have ever seen in my centuries of service, and before my gen-enhanced senses could even register it, he had planted Fag-Basher in the bulkhead just centimeters from my head. “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING, BITCH?! Techmarine Techfucker replied. It was too much even for the homicidal xenos shit-eaters. Shitforbrains thought back over his past five years he had been training and completing the Angry Marine trials to become a full battle brother, he had spent his time as an Angry Ganger, getting slowly furious while aiming down a sniper scope that he just wanted to swing like a bat into the nearest enemy, he’d shoved a grenade down a Homogaunt’s throat (after wrestling the terrified and retreating xeno to the ground), he’d shouted down a howling banshee and only suffered minor deafness as a result, he’d even survived for a couple of seconds under the withering glare of Commissar Fuklaw (the longest any initiate had ever done before catching fire), but this, this was the final, and most difficult, trial he and his fellow initiates had to complete. The Dark Angels are now available along with all those Space Marine Kits, Khagra’s Ravagers, and a few other suprises. Link: Warploque Miniatures. Edit or delete it, then As he walked through the portal to the lavatory, he turned and shouted, "BATTLE PRACTICE STARTS IN THREE MINUTES FUCKFACE, SO BREAK IT OFF AND GET A FUCKING MOVE ON!!! you’ll get… Re... Dear All, when I have posted, my hobby progress has been pretty minimal. Arturius had a feeling he would get nowhere with the quartermaster, who was now so annoyed that a vein throbbed alarmingly on the side of his bald head. and I am going to finally build my Dark Elf Queen with servants. ", It had been difficult to convince Raeg of his plan, but the chapter had already heavily damaged two battle barges in recent years during the Tertius Gamma campaign. The Dead and The Divine- Sisters Paragon Warsuit, ... Light Mech Showcase from Anvil Digital Forge, Sisters of Battle Teased for Tomorrows Big Preview. perceptions is ecstatic. “DAMN RIGHT, YOU ARE!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? Local pdf had turned their guns on the very people they were supposed to be defending. ALL THE TIME!!! The first finished unit of my Necron army, bit more work on the bases than